Evolution of a Lifestyle Couple

How did we get into the swinging lifestyle? This is our story.

During my dating years I happened to start going out with a girl who enjoyed going to swingers clubs. She was what I would later learn was called a “Unicorn” (a single girl who enjoys having sex with couples) and had an insatiable sex drive. We’d been going out for awhile, and I was always upfront with my girlfriends that I was not monogamous, so she was very comfortable bringing this up. She took me to a swingers club in Los Angeles and my first experience was an eye opener, it was amazing. I mentioned this to another girl I was dating, as she was also highly sexual, and to my surprise she was also a unicorn…I happened to be dating 2 swingers at the same time and never knew it.

Jump forward a few years, I’m now dating a girl with whom I had reached a point where I didn’t feel like dating anyone else, so had broken off my other relationships. She wasn’t in the lifestyle, but I quickly noticed how we were both checking out hot girls. So we gradually started acknowledging it.

Shortly after she graduated from college and moved in with me, I tactfully brought up the idea of swinging. She wasn’t excited about it, but agreed to check out a local club. We’d recently moved, so I had no idea what the clubs were like but figured they must all be about the same. Wrong! The club we went to was dirty (filthy, actually) and the crowd was mostly older (over 50) and seemed to regard us as fresh meat (and she was a 26 year old hottie who hates having people hit on her). She said that if this is what swinging is all about then to just forget it. I tried to explain that this wasn’t what I knew as the swinging scene, and how the clubs I’d gone to in Los Angeles were MUCH different. It was 6 months before she would even consider trying another club.

The next club we tried was fantastic. Clean, erotic and filled with younger educated people. We talked for hours, watched some people playing, and had great sex by ourselves in the jacuzzi. It was a positive experience and she was eager to go back. So we did.

This time we had been talking for awhile, sipping a few cocktails, and were watching a threesome of two girls and a guy. One of the girls kept making eye contact with my wife (we’d gotten married a month earlier) and eventually got up on her knees on the bed, motioning for my wife to come close. She was welded to my side with nervousness, but didn’t resist when I nudged her toward the bed. Once close enough I stepped back, and the girl started carressing her, moving up to a point where she could kiss her deeply. The other girl on the bed got up and joined in, slowly helping the other girl start removing my wifes clothes while the guy on the bed massaged the shoulders of one of the girls and watched as they undressed my wife. Now naked, the trio gently guided my wife onto the bed where they proceeded to devour her. A half hour of twisting, screaming orgasmic attention later she climbed off the bed, sweaty and smiling, to hug me and shout “I love this lifestyle!”. We became regulars, visiting the club about once a month.

We decided to join a swingers website, www.adultfriendfinder.com and actively sought new friends. The problem was that everyone we met were either fakes or were nothing like their photos. Then one day someone told us we were on the wrong website, that AdultFriendFinder was referred to as “every swingers first mistake” in the lifestyle, and suggested a different site, www.SDC.com - boy did we find a home! Lots of other younger, hot couples and a variety of parties and travel adventures.

My wife, at this time, had decided she was only interested in girls. She loved watching me fuck other girls, but said that she had no desire to play with guys, that guys could not get her turned on.

Our first lifestyle trip was to Desire Resort in Cancun, with a takeover by Bliss. She was reticent, and even a bit angry that I was taking her to “some cheesy nudist resort”. We got there, and as she stood looking out over the palm trees and ocean, surrounded by other hot couples checking in (we hadn’t been there even 5 min’s yet) she turned to me, with a beaming, radiant smile and said “I love it here! I want to come back!”.

About mid-way through the trip we were chatting over lunch about our experiences thus far, the people we’d met and the things we’d done, and I asked her how she felt about guys now. She said “no way”, that she had no interest in playing with guys because no guy besides me could possibly excite her. I was a little stunned, and reminded her that the night before she’d played orally with a guy and had a pair of screaming orgasms. It was as if I’d hit her with a cold towel…she’d been so in the moment, having started with a group of girls before pairing up with a guy, she’d totally blanked on the fact that she had played with a guy and that the he totally got her off. She thought about it for awhile, and decided that perhaps she could play with guys too, but that she do anything and everything except fuck them.

And then one night, at a friends house party, she hooked up with a guy that she’d always found incredibly hot, the husband-half of a couple that we’d become good friends with. They fucked. A lot. Those of us downstairs could hear the screaming and unmistakable slapping sounds from the loft. When she finally came down the stairs, half naked and smiling, she looked at all of us looking at her, spread her arms wide and shouted “my god that was great! how come I haven’t been fucking guys all along?! I love this!”, which our group greeted with applause and high-fives.

Our journey had been a long one towards being a “full swap” couple. But along the way we’d made a lot of new friends and had countless adventures. Our relationship was better than ever. We’ve changed and evolved as a lifestyle couple, and decided to turn something we were passionate about into a business.

The websites we were on (multiple ones, at the time) were, at best, “okay”. They were large and obviously financially successful, but there were a lot of missing components from a technology and utility perspective. As a dot-com pioneer this is my area of expertise, so we decided together – as a couple – to start www.kasidie.com and build a Web 2.0 social community for sexually adventurous couples.

And now? We’re having the best time of our lives!