Working Out, My Necessary Evil

There are many awesome things about the lifestyle; uninhibited friends, fantastic parties, hot sex, and so much more. One of the great side effects of being so social is that we’re motivated to look our best. I know (several) girls who were size 14-plus before they started swinging and, with MUCH hard work and behavior changes, are now sizes 2 – 6. I know guys who were previously self-admitted “lazy fat guys” and are now sculpted Adonis’s.

Dieting is okay. I have no problem eliminating starches and sugars. And avoiding alcohol except at parties is pretty easy (save for the glass of wine or liquor here and there at home).

Exercise is another issue altogether. As a former athlete I spent my childhood and early adulthood working out in the gym and on the field. It was a slog then, and it’s REALLY hard to get into it now. Working out is like treading through a muddy field; time just drips by. I don’t enjoy pushing myself to get the “high”, even though I do like the results I see in the mirror. It’s just not fun.

But a little while ago we were playing with a group of people. All the guys had perhaps 14% body fat between them, and there I was feeling like the Pillsbury Doughboy. Self conscious, uncomfortable. To me, unacceptable, that’s not the self-image I want to have.

You can work out like a Banshee but unless you also cut starches you will never get sculpted. Likewise, I can diet all I want but unless I exercise I won’t shape up. So this just has to be a way of life whether I enjoy it or not. I guess I have to suck it up and just do it; it’s worth the effort.

Swinger Fashion (men’s): T-Shirts Fading Quietly Into the Night?

On our trips to Europe over the last year or so we’ve noticed that guys have moved away from the ubiquitous “Entourage” style t-shirt and are wearing polo shirts. This is true at parties, on the street, and at casual restaurants.

Americans are usually a year or two behind Europe in terms of trends (especially guys), so I’ve been watching for signs. And they are starting to appear. Ads in magazines, even girls magazines, have more and more guys wearing either polo’s or collared shirts (still a lot of t’s as well though). Stores catering to hipsters in LA, NY & Miami are carrying selections of polo’s. And even Affliction, the de-facto swinger t-shirt label, is offering polo’s.

I’m keeping an eye on Rolling Stone and Maxim, where most of the pic’s are guys wearing t-shirts. So we’ll see.

What’s this mean? Fashion changes, styles come in and out. We’ve gone though a long period where it has been in to be a bit shabby. It may be that the winds of fashion are blowing a little more upclass now. For my part though, I really don’t care what the guys wear, I guess it’s cool if they dress a bit more crisp…as long as the girls get to keep wearing the sexiest and skimpiest damn outfits possible when we go out to swinger parties and vanilla venues with our friends.

Where are all these swingers parties? Check the party listings on Kasidie

How Do I Diet?

As swingers, we are all concerned with our appearance. Dieting and working out are a way of life, and even those of us with families and busy work schedules find time to “do what we gotta do”.

First, get naked and look in the mirror. Like what you see? Fantastic! Stop reading this blog and go for a run.

But if you’re like me, and think “oh god, I’m not so sure I want to take my clothes off around a bunch of other people” then read on!

First, Diet Programs Don’t Work
All carb, all protein, all fruit, all vegetarian, all whatever, do this, do that…every concept has a thick book filled with success stories and experts extolling the virtues with scientific explanations about how THIS diet is THE diet. I don’t know about you, but I never really even read the whole book, let alone follow through with counting calories or points, or cooking the special recipes. Plus, they just give me too much to try and think about, which makes it really stressful and causes me to cheat on it and quickly stop doing it.

Second, Diet Drugs Don’t Work
Ever notice how every diet drug advertisement says “when used in conjunction with changes to your diet and regular exercise you will lose weight!” Wow, really? No kidding! Lol This statement, when translated, means “save your money and don’t waste it on our wonder pills”. 

Start – Doctors Orders
Before dieting or exercising, check with your doctor. Make sure you are cleared medically before trying the Swingers Diet, or any other diet or exercise. Period. 

The Swingers Diet
How can you lose body fat and weight, while toning your body? Simply put; eliminate starches, cut sweets, reduce carbs and increase exercise. A little goes a long way. Follow these simple guidelines, be patient, and in 30 days you will see a reduction in both body fat and weight. 

Eliminate Completely, 100%:

1. Bread (all types, even whole wheat), and, yes, this includes bagels, donuts and breakfast stuff
2. Rice (all types, even brown rice)
3. Pasta
4. Tortillas (all types, including corn and flour)
5. Potatoes (all, regardless of how they’re cooked)
6. Pizza
7. Crackers
8. Chips (even baked or air dried)
9. Soda (yes, even diet drinks must be eliminated – stick to water for 30 days)
10. Fruit juices (organic juice is okay, as long as it doesn’t have any ingredient that’s scientific or not plain English)
11. Beer (switch to clear alcohol like Vodka or Tequilla if you absolutely have to have a drink)
12. Cereal (all, even natural or organic ones)
13. Sweets (chocolate, cookies, etc)
14. Ice cream
15. Cheese
16. Margarine (it’s just oil, your digestion can’t process it and it isn’t good for you, switch to real butter instead)
17. Milk (the fat content really doesn’t do your body good)
18. Anything with “high fructose corn syrup” in it
19. Salad dressing (exception: extra virgin olive oil with balsamic vinegar)
20. Chili (it usually has flour, corn starch and/or sugar in it)

Reduce, but don’t eliminate:

1. Butter
2. Beef (use lean beef only)
3. Pork
4. Salt (it makes you retain water and swell up)
5. Beans (eliminate any sugar or corn starch or molasses or flour or oil or fatty meat/fish additions)

Increase:

1. Veggies (steamed, grilled or raw)
2. Salads (no dressing except very small amount of olive oil with balsamic vinegar)
3. Chicken (never fried or breaded)
4. Turkey (never fried or breaded
5. Fish (never fried or breaded)
6. Soup (clear, broth based, not cream based)
7. Fruit juice (organic, no chemicals added of any kind)
8. Water (drink at least a half a gallon per day, every day) 

Snackables:

1. Raw or roasted nuts (be careful, insanely high calories, so only very small handfull’s)
2. Hummus (with celery sticks, cucumber or bell pepper slices)
3. Fruit
4. Sliced tomatoes
5. Yoghurt (plain organic, no sugar or sweeteners)
6. Veggie juice (fresh squeezed, not V8 or other such pre-packaged consumables) 

Meals:

1. Breakfast – always, it’s important to get your motor going (suggest 1 or 2 eggs, perhaps with some turkey bacon)
2. Lunch – fish or chicken with a handful of veggies
3. Dinner – soup and/or salad, or some chicken or fish with veggies
4. Snacks – twice a day, evenly between meals
5. Bedtime – never (it increases your metabolism, causing your sleep to be restless and un-refreshing).
6. Don’t eat or drink anything other than water within 2 hours of bedtime, not even vitamins.

Rule-of-thumb – if the plate feels heavy when you pick it up, you’ve got way too much on it because that’s the weight you are about to put into your belly. Eat small portions; if you include snackables throughout the day then you won’t feel hungry (after about a week, which is how long it’ll take your mind to get used to eating smaller portions than you’re used to). 

Exercise:

1. work + kids + stress = “how the hell am I supposed to do this?!” Sure, joining a club and hiring a personal trainer is optimal. But lets face it, that’s just not realistic for most of us. So what’s the option? “Walking”. If you can run or ride a bike, then go for it. But walking, just strolling around the neighborhood at a medium pace, quite simply will burn fat and work all the muscle groups. It won’t turn you into Athena or Adonis, but it will tune your body and have you smiling at both the scale and the mirror.
2.  FitTV is another option if you have cable. There are continuous short programs for cardio, yoga, and sculpting that you can do in the privacy and secrecy of your own living room. Use the pause button without guilt, don’t push it. Just keep doing something, anything, every day and changes will occur.
3. What about sex as exercise? Well of course! Sex burns calories, increases endorphins and has a host of physical and psychological benefits. So have sex. Often. It’s good for you. BUT, also take a 30 – 60 minute walk around your neighborhood or work out with FitTV every day.

Simple Summary
If you’re on a program that’s working, then stick with it and ignore this. But if you’re like the rest of us, then give this simple Swingers Diet a shot. Hold the line for 30 days, suffer through the sugar/carb/soda/chip/whatever withdrawals, and you’ll love what you see.

Come on now, you’ve eaten chips/pasta/bread/potatoes/rice/tortillas/fried foods and drank sodas/beer for years. Can’t you try this for just 30 days out of your entire life? Sure you can! And if it works, then you’ll have made it past the cravings and have visual reinforcement to stick with it and make it a “lifestyle” choice. And if it doesn’t work, then the cookies, pizza, ice cream, beer and French fries will be happy to have you back.

Disclaimer
Hey, the Swingers Diet is just our opinion and is what’s worked for us. We don’t have reams of scientific data to support it. And of course, you should ALWAYS consult your doctor before trying any new diet or exercise. 

Remember: You are the only one responsible for what you see in the mirror.

Additional Activities
One of the best things about being a swinger is all the sexy new friends we make. And all the fun things we do with our friends. Sure, the sex is great (and it burns calories), but there’s also the other non-sedentary stuff we swingers do together… 

1. * Hiking
2. * Dancing
3. * Standing at parties
4. * Biking
5. * Jacuzzi’s
6. * Skiing
7. * Snowmobiling
8. * Walking new cities we visit
9. * Running
10. * Horseback riding
11. * Camping
12. * Fishing
13. * Swimming
14. * Shopping
15. * Basketball
16. * Softball
17. * Soccer/Football
18. * Surfing
19. * Tennis
20. * Golf
21. * Spas
22. * Beach sports
23. * Sailing
24. * Concerts
25. * Martial Arts

Where can you find friends to do these things with? And more? Easy, Kasidie.com is full of people just like you who are looking to join in on activities and adventures that will get your heart-rate moving and put a smile on your face!

Male Grooming and Hygiene

Okay guys, it’s not just the girls who have to clean up when it comes to the swinging lifestyle. As swingers, it’s important to look our best. So here are some tips and guidelines for the guys!

Pre-Party Checklist:

• Shower (it doesn’t matter if you showered earlier in the day, jump in and clean up again before you head to the party)
• Shave your face (again) AND the back of your neck
• Shave your balls – just as the girls are smooth “down there”, so should you! Yes, 100% hairless, shave it all. Worried about nicks? Try a shaver from www.shavesmooth.com
• Nose & Ear hair – remove it all! That’s why they make “nose & ear trimmers”…use one
• Trim your nails – nothing is worse than a mid-play scratch from your toes or fingers
• Underarm hair – no, don’t shave it all (that’s for the girls). But if you look in a mirror, with your arms loose at your sides, and you can see hair squishing out then you need to trim it a bit. Yes, seriously
• Cologne – find a cologne that your girl finds sexy and wear it

Attitude:
There is nothing sexier or more engaging than the right attitude. We’ve all seen hot looking people who are obnoxious, and we’ve seen celebrities who aren’t 10′s yet radiate charisma and draw people to them. Regardless of your body type, be that person. How? It takes work and some effort. Here are some guidelines:

• Be positive – never engage in gossip or spread drama. Don’t be quick to offer advice to anyone, just be accepting
• Know your audience – listen first, then join in. Be part of a conversation, don’t dominate or direct it
• Be confident, not arrogant
• Reach out to people – see the couple sitting off by themselves, they are as afraid to break the ice as you are. Since everyone is reticent, someone needs to be the person to reach out and engage, so you might as well be that person
• Tread lightly with cliques – this group knows each other well and has a lot in common. They are always looking for new friends, so let them process the initial burst of talking and catching up, then later start chatting with select folks to see if you mesh with their group
• Smile
• Relax
• Be comfortable in your own skin – you are who you are, and if you’re happy with yourself that will radiate

Style:
It’s always said that dressing up is all about the girls, and when it comes to guys “does it really matter?” Well the answer is YES! Of course you don’t need all the outfits and accouterments of the girls, but there are a few guiding principles…
Jeans - most parties the guys wear jeans. However, we’re not talking pressed Wranglers or 501 Levi’s. Your jeans should be low-rise and either tapered or straight-leg. Mek is a popular brand, but if you don’t want to shell out $200 then Lucky and other brands are fine. Take your lady and try different styles on until you get the thumbs-up.
Shirt - always untucked (unless it’s a formal). Always. You’ll see a lot of guys wearing Affliction, Mondo, English Laundry and other hip brands (all of which you can find online at discount prices). Remember to up-size (from M to L, from L to XL) all of these as they are cut small.
Shoes - girls notice shoes, so buy a decent pair for parties. They don’t have to be expensive, but they do need to be stylish. So leave the Cole’s and Allen Edmunds in the closet, break out the Aldo’s or similar. You may feel self conscious at first, wearing something so far out of your normal comfort zone, but that’ll quickly go away when you see the reaction you get. Trust me.
Belt - with your shirt untucked it doesn’t really matter. If you do wear a belt, make sure it’s in style and not something a sale rep at Brooks Brothers sold you.
Jewelry - this is highly personal and depends upon your personality. Some guys can pull off ear-rings and gold chains. However no guy can pull off inexpensive watches or rings…ever. So if you only have a Timex, that’s absolutely fine, just don’t wear it to the party.

Okay, you’re looking good! You’re ready to join the other swingers and have a great time!